you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
