Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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