you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
