Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Your cock deserves a montage
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
