im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
