sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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