hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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