Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have aggressive nipples.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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