Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
