I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
