I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
