My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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