I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
