best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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