Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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