i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
