we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
