she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
