i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
