so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
