4 words: hood of his car
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
