i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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