Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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