I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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