so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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