9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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