Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
