i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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