I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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