Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
