I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
