I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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