Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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