So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
