so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
