He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
