One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
