college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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