Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize