haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
