He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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