i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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