I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
