he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We are two peas in an std pod
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
