now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
