he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
