bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
