I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
