Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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