you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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