david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
