Just took my morning after pill in the library
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
