the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
