I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
