After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
