I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
